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This is what I submited to The Modesto Bee:
I saw a robin on the sidewalk at De Anza College, and prayed a silent prayer to St. Francis, 'help me.' It had been almost five months since my son Bo had died. I managed the funeral and I managed Christmas, but I was not managing everyday. I missed him terribly. Bo had a bone disease, Osteogenisis Imperfecta. A cruel disease, he had fractures that had healed before he was even born. I never let him see how much it hurt me to see him suffer, and I never looked at that young man and not thank God that he was mine. I did my crying in the car on the way home from the hospital if he was there and on the way to get his medicine if he was at home.
I learned to run my errands fast, I needed to get home. Bo depended on me for everything. I always brought him something from town, be it Taco Bell or Oreos. My 'I'm home' was always echoed with 'Hi Mom, did you bring me anything?' Life was a struggle, because now with him gone I found it too hard to even put the key in the door when I got home from errands. I was falling apart. Standing on that sidewalk I knew I was going to go home to that empty house, I knew I needed help. The robin prompted me to pray and I finally asked for the help I desperately needed.
Not a week went by when I got a call from (county veterinarian) Dr. Debbie Greer asking if my daughter Maggie and I would be willing to take care of a litter of puppies until they were big enough to adopt out. They had come to the animal shelter, mixed poodle and who knows what.
I went and picked up eight wiggly little puppies and a playpen. We weighed them when we got home, most were 16 oz.
'Pound puppies!' we laughed.
I hand fed them and they stayed with us for about 6 weeks. I taught them to go outside in a big puppy stampede, I gathered them up in a big basket to bring them in.
We laughed and loved and called everyone with little kids we knew to come over and play with the puppies. The deal was that for taking on this role of puppy wrangler, Maggie could choose one to keep. We were torn, which one?
Finally the day came that they would go, and we were still trying to decide between two. I noticed one of the two would watch everything I did, she would wait by me while the other puppies played, she had chosen us to be her family. We named her Checkers. The puppies were the turning point for me, I believe they saved my life. I was dying of a broken heart. This little dog put the pieces of it back together. When my key hits the lock after errands, this little blur of white fur is going out of her mind with happiness to see me. Checkers will jump up in a wooden chair and wait for me to get things put down and she knows I will come and give what she gives me, love.
St. Francis answered my prayers, my heart is healing, I know that Bo would want me to be happy. Bo always talked about the bluebird of happiness, bonking you in the head saying 'Pay attention!' when things didn't look so happy. One day while shopping I saw the dog toys. I went to get one for Checkers and there it was, a bluebird.
Living though this loss, well I knew Bo wouldn't live long and I thought I would be able to say goodbye knowing that I had loved him all I could. But I would give anything to take another 23 years of caring for him. Bo always called me 'the best Mom in the world.' He was a charmer who made it easy. I have come to realize that life is going to go on and I made a commitment to be happy. Whenever I'm down that bluebird of happiness shows up, covered in doggie drool and wanting to fly. Checkers can catch it in mid-air if she's fast enough.
Thanks for reading.
Kathy
Rating:  [5 of 5 Stars!] |
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